r***@aol.com
2010-06-27 05:54:15 UTC
“Restrain Your Spunk...”
PG-13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down!
It's all yours and ME's.
Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...
Summary: Will and Angel are seeking to enter the field of artistic
endeavor and have a brilliant concept for doing so...
2010...Los Angeles...
“So let me get this straight...” narrow look from the deceptively
slight, apparently youthful, clearly peroxided “blonde man” to the
taller, dark-haired, “man” seated at his side...Who’d dropped his
habitual, solemnly brooding air for the moment at least to don a
rather pleased expression...
A well-deservedly pleased expression given that he could not only lay
claim to having saved Humanity and the planet more authentically than
Al Gore, but had achieved what might to some, particularly his
“blonde” partner at his side, seem an even greater success...
“...You got us an interview with Garry Saul?...The Garry Saul?...”
“The...Garry...Saul...” the taller “man” nodded...
“To pitch our idea...Not to save a family member...Or...And given his
character on the show, it wouldn’t surprise me...Kill him as a hideous
threat to Mankind...?”
“No saving...Except perhaps Season Eight...No killing...Unless of
course...”
“Right...” the “blonde-haired man” sighed... “If she gets
wind...Killing’ll be on the menu...”
“I think you underestimate her sense of humor, Spike...” the other
shook his head...
“And anyway...We’re using the Meryl name...And it’s likely she doesn’t
even watch the show ...”
Point there...the said Spike nodded...
A tall, fairly heavy-set, slightly harassed-looking man emerged from
an inner office to the reception area where the first two waited...
“Jack...” the taller “man” rose extending a hand which the heavy-set
man clasped...
“Liam...” the addressed Jack shook hands with vigor...
“And this is Will Walthrop...My partner...” Liam turned to Spike...Who
nodded... “Jack Beige...Garry Saul’s agent...”
“A pleasure...” William accepted a hearty handshake...
“Great to meet ya...” Jack took the slight “man” in ... “Well, fellas
come on in...Garry’ll be here in a mo or two...”
Angel eyed Will with arch expression...Didn’t believe in me, eh?...
Fine...Ok...Will’s look back said...
They followed Mr. Beige into his office, politely declining en route
his offer of coffee, soda...Baga blood, no problem?...No?...
“So...William...” Jack carefully took a seat behind his desk...Hearty
grin to Angel, now seated...
“Has this guy tole you how I owe him...And what you two owe this
chance to?...” he put up a quick hand... “Not to say that your ideas
aren’t spectacular...I wouldn’t even try to pitch Garry, not even for
this guy...” Affectionate glance to Angel... “Without a spectacular
idea...But has he tole you what he did for me and my wife?...This big
lug...”
:”Our Liam’s a prince of modesty...” Will, dryly... “He rescue your
poodle or something?...”
Jack pulled over a framed photo of a slight, dark-haired woman of
forty-something...A rather grim attempt at a smile on her face...
“This is her...My Sallie...God...What I owe this guy...” he shook his
head at Angel who modestly shook his own head back...No prob, Jack...
“Oh?...” Will eyed the photo... “He saved her, I take it...”
“Demon-possessed...” Jack patted the photo... “My poor sweet
Sallie...Not a violent one, but God...Mouth like a sewer worker...Made
my life a living hell...Chased quite a lot of business away, and not a
few friends...Till this terrific guy came along and scared the living
s...t of it...”
“No big deal, Jack...Glad to do it...Only tricky thing was spotting it
and not hurting her getting it out...”
“Well, in any case, thanks to Liam here...My angel is back, safe and
sound...Fully soul-restored and...”
Phone ring...
“Yeah?...Hey, Sal...Guess who I got...What?...Ummn...Yeah...Look I
got...Ummn...Honey, I...”
Will eyed Angel as the hideous screaming from the earpiece reached
them...Every other word an obscenity...
“She’s better now?...” he hissed...
“Much...” Angel nodded...
“Sallie, Liam Angel’s here...Ummn...Sal...Ok, ok...”
“So...’That miserable perverted f...k...’ is her way of saying,
‘thanks for saving me’...?” William whispered...
“I think she was a bit confused when I got the thing out of her...”
Angel explained quietly... “Jack thought it best not to go into too
many details about Demonity and all that with her...”
“Gotta go now, Sallie...Yeah...Yeah...Look, Garry’s coming by in
ten...”
Well...Least she’s apparently not totally focused on Angel...Will
noted to himself at the stream of invective that could be heard now
rather easily from the earpiece...
“I’m remind him about the dinner party tonight, bye,
hon...Bye...Love...”
“...ya...” Jack finished, a bit lamely at the obvious hang-up...
“It’s so great to have her back...” he smiled at his guests...
A tall, lanky, balding man entered the room without knocking or
pausing...Eyeing the two in their chairs with a frown...
“Hey...The man himself...” Jack addressed the new arrival...
“Fellas...Garry Saul...Garry...Will Walthrop and my good buddy, Liam
Angel...”
“Hey...” Saul offered a hand to William then Angel... “So you two are
the guys...?”
“We’re the ones...” Angel nodded...
Saul eyed him carefully... “And you’re both...”
“Vampires...” Angel nodded... “But human-souled...”
“And terrific fellas...” Jack chimed in... “With the concept that is
gonna make Season Eight a reality...”
Hmmn...Saul frowned...Yeah...Sigh...
“Garry?...” Jack stared... “You loved their concept...You said
so...You know how many times you said so...And you agreed to this
meeting...”
Yeah...Saul sighed... Eyeing the two...
“If you’re not comfy workin’ with the Undead, mate...” William
began...
“Hmmn?...No, oh no...No...No....” Saul wagged a finger... “Don’t go
that way...Do not go that way, my friend...”
“What’s the problem, then...?” Jack gave a frustrated shake of head
and body...
“It’s just...” Saul paused... “This alternate universe thing...” he
shrugged...
“You loved the alternate universe thing...Just last night you said you
loved the alternate universe thing as much as the Freak Book in Season
Six...”
Yeeeaaaahhh...Saul sighed again... “Last night, I guess I did...”
“And the chance to flip Meryl’s character...Meryl loves that, you
know...” Jack insisted, turning to Angel and Will...
“She...Loves...That...She’s sick of being Ms. Perfect who never misses
a step...It’s obnoxious over time...Right, Garry?...Obnoxious?...And
this is a chance to put Garry in the good guy’s seat,
right?...Right?...”
“Yeeeaaahhh...” Saul sighed yet again...
“Fellas?...Why don’t you tell Garry how you came up with this
one?...And what you envision the season to be like...Just a short
summary...” Jack, encouragingly...Pushing with his hands...
“Garry, sit down...You’re making me nervous...”
“Nah...”
“Sit...” Jack commanded... “These guys are brilliant and you loved
their concept...Let them run through it for you...”
“Can I get some water?...Cheryl didn’t have any water for me when I
came in...”
“No water...?” Jack stared... “That’s crazy...She had water...I had
her get water...I had water...” he pressed a button on his desk
intercom... “Hey, Cheryl?...You got water for Garry?...”
“Sure...” the answer came back... “But he didn’t want what we had...”
“You didn’t want it?...” Jack looked at the reluctantly seated Saul...
Eh... “It’s that kind I don’t like...Not the good water...”
“The good water?...Water’s water...” Jack shrugged... “What water do
you mean?...”
“You know...The good water...With the bunch of flowers on the
label...The good water...You know that water?...” Saul looked at Angel
and William...
“Sorry...” Angel shook his head...
“That’s good water...” William nodded...
“Riiight...” Saul pointed a finger at him... “It is good water, isn’t
it?...Not like this stuff she’s got out there today...”
Jack sighed...Pressing button again... “Cheryl...Is there any of the
water with the bunch of flowers on the label?...”
“The good water...” Saul called...
“We’re out...” Cheryl’s voice replied...
“We’re out...” Jack repeated... “You want something else...?”
“Eh...Nah...” Saul sighed... “I just wanted that water...I’m supposed
to have a couple of bottles every day, you know...” he addressed
William...
“Nothing better for the kidneys...” Will nodded... “Except, in our
cases, a little of the red mixed in...”
“Right, the blood...You guys and the blood...” Saul nodded... “I vanna
suck your blood...Right...No offense, intended...” he put up a
hand...
“None taken...Except by Rumanians...” Will smiled...
“Right...Transylvania...You know...” Saul grinned... “I bet I’m more
closely related to Dracula than you two are...I mean, you
Angel...You’re Irish, right?...”
“Surein I am...” Angel, smiling...
“And Walthrop...You sound...Brit?...Australian?...”
“Merrie ole Herself...London area, actually...”
“Exactly...Me...Mine are from Rumania...Some anyway...See what I
mean...?” Saul, enthused...
“Very likely...” Will nodded... “Though I think the Dracule were
Orthodox Christian before becoming pagan again...”
“But there’s always one of us in the woodpile...” Saul
smiled...Wagging finger... “We always manage to sneak in there,
somehow...Why I bet Hitler...”
Jack, rolling eyes... “Garry?...Concept?...Let the boys do their
thing?...”
“Sure, sure...” Garry waved a hand... “Actually I did love the idea
with Meryl flipping character...I just was
thinking...Maybe...Vamps...You know...What with that ‘Twilight’ and
all...?”
“Overkill?...” William asked...
“Maybe just a tad...”
“But that’s where we cut loose...” Angel said, rising... “The vampire
bit is there...But only as the vehicle for the character flip...Small
stuff in the larger picture...Though just enough of a hook to catch
the end of the Twilight wave...”
“But my character...TV Garry...In the alternate universe...” Saul,
hesitantly...
“Is a vamp...But human-souled...” Angel noted...
“A vampire with a soul?...” Saul sighed...
“Lame, we know...” William nodded... “But so was a show about
nothing...On paper...”
“True enough...” Saul nodded, thoughtfully...
“The core concept is the flip of your wife’s character...That’s the
real heart of the beast...” William rose...
“See...We were...To be honest...Not entirely satisfied with Season
Six’s breakup...” he continued...
“Though...It clearly did fit in with the character’s arc...” Angel cut
in...
Oh, please...Will sighed...
Arc?...
“The character’s arc...?” Saul smiled...Rolling eyes...
“My partner’s a demon-killing hero/lawyer...Not a writer, Garry...”
William waved a hand...
“But the point is we both agreed it was a bit lame in S6...What, your
wife gets fed up...As if no one saw that coming...Your character does
the final idiocy that drives her off...And then...” he eyed
Angel...Who seemed a bit peeved...
Angel?...
“...And then she gets to set the tone for your coming back...As they
always do...” Angel noted...
“We end up with you trying to win her back by becoming ‘new
Garry’?...With her being ready to take you back for a moment after
you’ve changed your clothes and mouthed a few feelly-goody
sentiments...Jesus...” Angel frowned... “We both thought better of the
Meryl character...”
“Sure...” Will continued... “She might get fed up with TV Garry...But
over him being himself?...Wearing the clothes he’s worn for years and
that he’s a perfect right to wear...What, clothes impress her that
much?...We thought better of her, that’s all we can say...”
“True...” Garry sighed...Jack nodding in concert... “I gotta say, once
we did it...I did think...And the real Meryl, too...Didn’t seem right
for a woman like TV Meryl Saul to deny Garry’s soul like that...”
“And S7...” William sighed, shaking head... “She wants a job on the
‘Jerry’ reunion show?...And is willing to let Garry make a fool of
himself to get it for her...”
“As if...” Angel sighed...Likewise shaking head... “She’s not the
incredibly knowing, smart woman we’ve known for years...Who’s read
Garry like a book...She doesn’t know what he’s up to?...Or worse, she
lets him do it...For a job?...Is this the woman Garry married?...The
one he’s tried to be a better man for all these years...?”
“Where’s the Meryl who could accept him?...Yes, he’s been a jerk...But
what about the way she’s been acting?...Following a dimwitted
therapist’s advice like Holy Writ?...” Will shook head... “Has she
ever offered to change for him?...Where’s the give-and-take?...”
“Yeah...” Jack nodded... “You know you never see that...”
“You never do...” William nodded... “It’s always us...We’re always
the...Pardon the expression...A...holes...And we’ve got to change for
them...”
“I didn’t like the casual stuff Meryl wears in some scenes...”Angel
nodded... “But if we were to say...’Hey, Nina’...” Er...
Will eyed him...Freudian one, mate...
“...’hey, Meryl...I don’t like your grungy clothes...Wear nice stuff
all the time’...We’d be the bad guys...Garry...TV Garry...Would be the
bad guy...” Angel, insistently...
“You have a point there, my friend...” Garry nodded... “A
pretty...Pretty...Good point...”
“Why doesn’t Meryl have to change...A little?...Yes, she’s near
perfect in many ways...But...C’mon...”
“Pretty...Preetty...Good...” Saul nodded...
“So we came up with the alternate universe flip...Fantasy scenes to
intersperse all through S8...” Angel pulled up a portfolio which had
lain by his chair...Opening it and pulling out a portable easel which
he opened and set on the floor, raising to eye level and putting a
small stack of sketches on the easel...
“Thank God...No computer stuff...” Saul smiled... “I can never follow
the computer stuff...Powerpoint and all that crap the kids try to show
me these days...”
“Just pen and ink, mate...” William nodded... “So...You...TV Garry
are, in our fantasy scenes, a tormented fellow...A good man, lost to
the world by a cruel act of Fate...Misunderstood, abandoned...”
“I can go with that...” Saul agreed...
“A vampire...For over a century since he took a wrong turn after being
rejected one night by his...”
“Will?...” Angel cut in... “I thought we agreed he was the victim of
an experienced courtesan vampiress...Family issues driving him to her
fiendish arms...”
“Cicely’s my girl, Liam...And if she’s the key to the story...”
“Fine...Great...”
“Fellas?...” Saul eyed them... “You’re losing me here...”
“Minor artistic difference...We’ll clean it up later...” William
noted... “Anyway, the vampire bit is a trivial part of the
matter...Any immortal curse really would do...The point is, your
character...In the fantasy scenes...Is doomed to be the misunderstood,
accursed one ever since his beloved kicked him out like a dog into the
arms of a foul creature of the night...Who made him the monster men
fear...”
“Sally?...” Saul grinned at Jack who frowned...
“We don’t want to confuse relationships there, mate...” Will noted...
“No, just a creature who made him, well...”
“The obnoxious TV Garry Saul...” Saul nodded...
“An allegory...But with the kicker that the girl...The lady love, I
mean...The one who drove him to despair...”
“An old girlfriend made Garry what he is...?” Jack, intrigued...
“Pushed him along the path...Anyway, she’s not gone out of his
immortal existence...She turns up again in our modern world...”
William said...Pointing to a sketch vaguely a cross between a childish
sketch of Buffy and TV Meryl Saul...Stake in hand...
“What’s that, a stake?...” Saul pointed...
“She’s reincarnated as his nemesis...A vampire Slayer...Which she was,
ironically, even then when they first met...” Will nodded...
“Vampire Slayer...” Saul nodded... Hmmn...
“Ball-buster by any other name...” Jack noted... “And was from the
beginning...?”
“Exactly, mate...You catch the allegory...”
“So this...Slayer?...She kills his kind...” Saul asked...
“For the benefit and protection of Humanity...” Angel nodded... “Or so
she likes to say...Though one might wonder...Given these creatures
were human, once...And are generally innocent souls and victims...Why
not try to rescue them?...Does she like it, the killing?...”
“The ball-busting...” Jack sighed...
“She’s had another vamp lover...Who’d regained soul and fought on the
right side...”
“That could be Dansen...” Saul eyed Jack... “TV Meryl and that little
non-sexual romance we had goin’ on with them in S6...Right?...”
“The wheels, boys...See the wheels turnin’...” Jack nodded...
“Ted Dansen?...” Angel beaming...
My dream cast...
“He has a wonderful wife...By modern times...” Angel noted,
eagerly...
“Ms. Steenburgen would be perfect...” he suggested...
“Back to the storyline...” William frowned...Putting another sketch
up...A crude rendering of Angel being shoved into a fiery
furnace...Stick demons tormenting him with pitchforks...
“Hey, is that you?...” Saul asked Angel...
“She...Our Meryl the Slayer...Claims to love this one but never lifts
a finger...Even to call on her Council of Watchers and their knowledge
of the occult or her witchy friends...”
“Witchy friends...I can see the Meryl koffee klatsch now...”Garry
grinned...
“...to lift the curse that keeps him from being able to be with
her...Suggesting she’s pretty comfy with his limitations...”
“Hey...” Angel growled...
“In being with her...” William noted...Angel calming... “To the point
that when he fails to measure up and loses the soul...Though no real
fault of his own, it being a loaner...”
Hey...
“She shoves him into Hell...Like that...To...” ummn... “Save the
world...”
“Pretty much what they all say...” Saul noted...
“Yeah...” Angel, slight bitterness...
“And then she goes off to grieve a bit over the summer...Making as
usual no real effort to help him or even see if he’s making out ok in
Hell...Until he returns...And she finds...Gee...” William places new
sheet...
Angel walking towards a bunch of what appear to be crude sketches of
buildings...
“He’s moved on...To another city...And a new life...But opening the
door to...”
“Me...?” Garry eyed the next sketch...A rather good likeness of him in
leather jacket and t-shirt...
Cool...He and Jack nodded...
“Her original victim...Excuse me, true love...Who pretty much gets the
same treatment as the other...Though being you...” William, smile...
“He fights his way back to souled status after she’s used him for a
while like a sex toy when he’s been unable to help himself...I don’t
need to point out how a woman used in such like manner would be
treated...Or the man who’d victimized her, even if she had been
soulless during the abuse...”
“God, they’d crucify him...” Jack shook his head... “She could’ve been
Hitler, they’d still crucify him...”
“And then...?” Saul asked, eagerly...
“He dies for her...And Humanity...While she kicks him around, abandons
him to evil forces, and finally leaves him with the lamest ‘I love
you’ in herstory...”
“The End?...No...” Saul shakes head...
“For TV Garry, alternate vampire self?...Certainly not...He
returns...Saved by a dark force for its own purposes...Not by her...Or
her occult friends...”
“Naturally...” Saul and Jack, chorus...
“But if it were her...” Saul sighed...
“An entire series about men dying to free her from her curse,
natch...” William nodded...
“But it being the guy...Our TV Garry...She manages to move on pretty
quick...”
“The End?...” Saul, Jack...Staring...
“He’s still kickin’...” William noted...
“And the other has found happiness...” Angel, contentedly... “Though
he does what he can to persuade his buddy TV Garry the vamp to find
another...Constantly...”
“Dansen would do that...” Garry nodded... “TV Ted, I mean...Real Ted’s
a beautiful guy, of course...But TV Ted would probably push him that
way...”
“The other, the good buddy...Has the best intentions...Souled and
all...” Angel, hastily...
“He wants the Meryl Slayer back on the side...” Saul, thoughtfully...
“Being scheming all along...”
William eyeing Angel...
“S6 did suggest that, mate...” narrow look...
***
PG-13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down!
It's all yours and ME's.
Spoilers for Angel to this week...Flee at once!...
Summary: Will and Angel are seeking to enter the field of artistic
endeavor and have a brilliant concept for doing so...
2010...Los Angeles...
“So let me get this straight...” narrow look from the deceptively
slight, apparently youthful, clearly peroxided “blonde man” to the
taller, dark-haired, “man” seated at his side...Who’d dropped his
habitual, solemnly brooding air for the moment at least to don a
rather pleased expression...
A well-deservedly pleased expression given that he could not only lay
claim to having saved Humanity and the planet more authentically than
Al Gore, but had achieved what might to some, particularly his
“blonde” partner at his side, seem an even greater success...
“...You got us an interview with Garry Saul?...The Garry Saul?...”
“The...Garry...Saul...” the taller “man” nodded...
“To pitch our idea...Not to save a family member...Or...And given his
character on the show, it wouldn’t surprise me...Kill him as a hideous
threat to Mankind...?”
“No saving...Except perhaps Season Eight...No killing...Unless of
course...”
“Right...” the “blonde-haired man” sighed... “If she gets
wind...Killing’ll be on the menu...”
“I think you underestimate her sense of humor, Spike...” the other
shook his head...
“And anyway...We’re using the Meryl name...And it’s likely she doesn’t
even watch the show ...”
Point there...the said Spike nodded...
A tall, fairly heavy-set, slightly harassed-looking man emerged from
an inner office to the reception area where the first two waited...
“Jack...” the taller “man” rose extending a hand which the heavy-set
man clasped...
“Liam...” the addressed Jack shook hands with vigor...
“And this is Will Walthrop...My partner...” Liam turned to Spike...Who
nodded... “Jack Beige...Garry Saul’s agent...”
“A pleasure...” William accepted a hearty handshake...
“Great to meet ya...” Jack took the slight “man” in ... “Well, fellas
come on in...Garry’ll be here in a mo or two...”
Angel eyed Will with arch expression...Didn’t believe in me, eh?...
Fine...Ok...Will’s look back said...
They followed Mr. Beige into his office, politely declining en route
his offer of coffee, soda...Baga blood, no problem?...No?...
“So...William...” Jack carefully took a seat behind his desk...Hearty
grin to Angel, now seated...
“Has this guy tole you how I owe him...And what you two owe this
chance to?...” he put up a quick hand... “Not to say that your ideas
aren’t spectacular...I wouldn’t even try to pitch Garry, not even for
this guy...” Affectionate glance to Angel... “Without a spectacular
idea...But has he tole you what he did for me and my wife?...This big
lug...”
:”Our Liam’s a prince of modesty...” Will, dryly... “He rescue your
poodle or something?...”
Jack pulled over a framed photo of a slight, dark-haired woman of
forty-something...A rather grim attempt at a smile on her face...
“This is her...My Sallie...God...What I owe this guy...” he shook his
head at Angel who modestly shook his own head back...No prob, Jack...
“Oh?...” Will eyed the photo... “He saved her, I take it...”
“Demon-possessed...” Jack patted the photo... “My poor sweet
Sallie...Not a violent one, but God...Mouth like a sewer worker...Made
my life a living hell...Chased quite a lot of business away, and not a
few friends...Till this terrific guy came along and scared the living
s...t of it...”
“No big deal, Jack...Glad to do it...Only tricky thing was spotting it
and not hurting her getting it out...”
“Well, in any case, thanks to Liam here...My angel is back, safe and
sound...Fully soul-restored and...”
Phone ring...
“Yeah?...Hey, Sal...Guess who I got...What?...Ummn...Yeah...Look I
got...Ummn...Honey, I...”
Will eyed Angel as the hideous screaming from the earpiece reached
them...Every other word an obscenity...
“She’s better now?...” he hissed...
“Much...” Angel nodded...
“Sallie, Liam Angel’s here...Ummn...Sal...Ok, ok...”
“So...’That miserable perverted f...k...’ is her way of saying,
‘thanks for saving me’...?” William whispered...
“I think she was a bit confused when I got the thing out of her...”
Angel explained quietly... “Jack thought it best not to go into too
many details about Demonity and all that with her...”
“Gotta go now, Sallie...Yeah...Yeah...Look, Garry’s coming by in
ten...”
Well...Least she’s apparently not totally focused on Angel...Will
noted to himself at the stream of invective that could be heard now
rather easily from the earpiece...
“I’m remind him about the dinner party tonight, bye,
hon...Bye...Love...”
“...ya...” Jack finished, a bit lamely at the obvious hang-up...
“It’s so great to have her back...” he smiled at his guests...
A tall, lanky, balding man entered the room without knocking or
pausing...Eyeing the two in their chairs with a frown...
“Hey...The man himself...” Jack addressed the new arrival...
“Fellas...Garry Saul...Garry...Will Walthrop and my good buddy, Liam
Angel...”
“Hey...” Saul offered a hand to William then Angel... “So you two are
the guys...?”
“We’re the ones...” Angel nodded...
Saul eyed him carefully... “And you’re both...”
“Vampires...” Angel nodded... “But human-souled...”
“And terrific fellas...” Jack chimed in... “With the concept that is
gonna make Season Eight a reality...”
Hmmn...Saul frowned...Yeah...Sigh...
“Garry?...” Jack stared... “You loved their concept...You said
so...You know how many times you said so...And you agreed to this
meeting...”
Yeah...Saul sighed... Eyeing the two...
“If you’re not comfy workin’ with the Undead, mate...” William
began...
“Hmmn?...No, oh no...No...No....” Saul wagged a finger... “Don’t go
that way...Do not go that way, my friend...”
“What’s the problem, then...?” Jack gave a frustrated shake of head
and body...
“It’s just...” Saul paused... “This alternate universe thing...” he
shrugged...
“You loved the alternate universe thing...Just last night you said you
loved the alternate universe thing as much as the Freak Book in Season
Six...”
Yeeeaaaahhh...Saul sighed again... “Last night, I guess I did...”
“And the chance to flip Meryl’s character...Meryl loves that, you
know...” Jack insisted, turning to Angel and Will...
“She...Loves...That...She’s sick of being Ms. Perfect who never misses
a step...It’s obnoxious over time...Right, Garry?...Obnoxious?...And
this is a chance to put Garry in the good guy’s seat,
right?...Right?...”
“Yeeeaaahhh...” Saul sighed yet again...
“Fellas?...Why don’t you tell Garry how you came up with this
one?...And what you envision the season to be like...Just a short
summary...” Jack, encouragingly...Pushing with his hands...
“Garry, sit down...You’re making me nervous...”
“Nah...”
“Sit...” Jack commanded... “These guys are brilliant and you loved
their concept...Let them run through it for you...”
“Can I get some water?...Cheryl didn’t have any water for me when I
came in...”
“No water...?” Jack stared... “That’s crazy...She had water...I had
her get water...I had water...” he pressed a button on his desk
intercom... “Hey, Cheryl?...You got water for Garry?...”
“Sure...” the answer came back... “But he didn’t want what we had...”
“You didn’t want it?...” Jack looked at the reluctantly seated Saul...
Eh... “It’s that kind I don’t like...Not the good water...”
“The good water?...Water’s water...” Jack shrugged... “What water do
you mean?...”
“You know...The good water...With the bunch of flowers on the
label...The good water...You know that water?...” Saul looked at Angel
and William...
“Sorry...” Angel shook his head...
“That’s good water...” William nodded...
“Riiight...” Saul pointed a finger at him... “It is good water, isn’t
it?...Not like this stuff she’s got out there today...”
Jack sighed...Pressing button again... “Cheryl...Is there any of the
water with the bunch of flowers on the label?...”
“The good water...” Saul called...
“We’re out...” Cheryl’s voice replied...
“We’re out...” Jack repeated... “You want something else...?”
“Eh...Nah...” Saul sighed... “I just wanted that water...I’m supposed
to have a couple of bottles every day, you know...” he addressed
William...
“Nothing better for the kidneys...” Will nodded... “Except, in our
cases, a little of the red mixed in...”
“Right, the blood...You guys and the blood...” Saul nodded... “I vanna
suck your blood...Right...No offense, intended...” he put up a
hand...
“None taken...Except by Rumanians...” Will smiled...
“Right...Transylvania...You know...” Saul grinned... “I bet I’m more
closely related to Dracula than you two are...I mean, you
Angel...You’re Irish, right?...”
“Surein I am...” Angel, smiling...
“And Walthrop...You sound...Brit?...Australian?...”
“Merrie ole Herself...London area, actually...”
“Exactly...Me...Mine are from Rumania...Some anyway...See what I
mean...?” Saul, enthused...
“Very likely...” Will nodded... “Though I think the Dracule were
Orthodox Christian before becoming pagan again...”
“But there’s always one of us in the woodpile...” Saul
smiled...Wagging finger... “We always manage to sneak in there,
somehow...Why I bet Hitler...”
Jack, rolling eyes... “Garry?...Concept?...Let the boys do their
thing?...”
“Sure, sure...” Garry waved a hand... “Actually I did love the idea
with Meryl flipping character...I just was
thinking...Maybe...Vamps...You know...What with that ‘Twilight’ and
all...?”
“Overkill?...” William asked...
“Maybe just a tad...”
“But that’s where we cut loose...” Angel said, rising... “The vampire
bit is there...But only as the vehicle for the character flip...Small
stuff in the larger picture...Though just enough of a hook to catch
the end of the Twilight wave...”
“But my character...TV Garry...In the alternate universe...” Saul,
hesitantly...
“Is a vamp...But human-souled...” Angel noted...
“A vampire with a soul?...” Saul sighed...
“Lame, we know...” William nodded... “But so was a show about
nothing...On paper...”
“True enough...” Saul nodded, thoughtfully...
“The core concept is the flip of your wife’s character...That’s the
real heart of the beast...” William rose...
“See...We were...To be honest...Not entirely satisfied with Season
Six’s breakup...” he continued...
“Though...It clearly did fit in with the character’s arc...” Angel cut
in...
Oh, please...Will sighed...
Arc?...
“The character’s arc...?” Saul smiled...Rolling eyes...
“My partner’s a demon-killing hero/lawyer...Not a writer, Garry...”
William waved a hand...
“But the point is we both agreed it was a bit lame in S6...What, your
wife gets fed up...As if no one saw that coming...Your character does
the final idiocy that drives her off...And then...” he eyed
Angel...Who seemed a bit peeved...
Angel?...
“...And then she gets to set the tone for your coming back...As they
always do...” Angel noted...
“We end up with you trying to win her back by becoming ‘new
Garry’?...With her being ready to take you back for a moment after
you’ve changed your clothes and mouthed a few feelly-goody
sentiments...Jesus...” Angel frowned... “We both thought better of the
Meryl character...”
“Sure...” Will continued... “She might get fed up with TV Garry...But
over him being himself?...Wearing the clothes he’s worn for years and
that he’s a perfect right to wear...What, clothes impress her that
much?...We thought better of her, that’s all we can say...”
“True...” Garry sighed...Jack nodding in concert... “I gotta say, once
we did it...I did think...And the real Meryl, too...Didn’t seem right
for a woman like TV Meryl Saul to deny Garry’s soul like that...”
“And S7...” William sighed, shaking head... “She wants a job on the
‘Jerry’ reunion show?...And is willing to let Garry make a fool of
himself to get it for her...”
“As if...” Angel sighed...Likewise shaking head... “She’s not the
incredibly knowing, smart woman we’ve known for years...Who’s read
Garry like a book...She doesn’t know what he’s up to?...Or worse, she
lets him do it...For a job?...Is this the woman Garry married?...The
one he’s tried to be a better man for all these years...?”
“Where’s the Meryl who could accept him?...Yes, he’s been a jerk...But
what about the way she’s been acting?...Following a dimwitted
therapist’s advice like Holy Writ?...” Will shook head... “Has she
ever offered to change for him?...Where’s the give-and-take?...”
“Yeah...” Jack nodded... “You know you never see that...”
“You never do...” William nodded... “It’s always us...We’re always
the...Pardon the expression...A...holes...And we’ve got to change for
them...”
“I didn’t like the casual stuff Meryl wears in some scenes...”Angel
nodded... “But if we were to say...’Hey, Nina’...” Er...
Will eyed him...Freudian one, mate...
“...’hey, Meryl...I don’t like your grungy clothes...Wear nice stuff
all the time’...We’d be the bad guys...Garry...TV Garry...Would be the
bad guy...” Angel, insistently...
“You have a point there, my friend...” Garry nodded... “A
pretty...Pretty...Good point...”
“Why doesn’t Meryl have to change...A little?...Yes, she’s near
perfect in many ways...But...C’mon...”
“Pretty...Preetty...Good...” Saul nodded...
“So we came up with the alternate universe flip...Fantasy scenes to
intersperse all through S8...” Angel pulled up a portfolio which had
lain by his chair...Opening it and pulling out a portable easel which
he opened and set on the floor, raising to eye level and putting a
small stack of sketches on the easel...
“Thank God...No computer stuff...” Saul smiled... “I can never follow
the computer stuff...Powerpoint and all that crap the kids try to show
me these days...”
“Just pen and ink, mate...” William nodded... “So...You...TV Garry
are, in our fantasy scenes, a tormented fellow...A good man, lost to
the world by a cruel act of Fate...Misunderstood, abandoned...”
“I can go with that...” Saul agreed...
“A vampire...For over a century since he took a wrong turn after being
rejected one night by his...”
“Will?...” Angel cut in... “I thought we agreed he was the victim of
an experienced courtesan vampiress...Family issues driving him to her
fiendish arms...”
“Cicely’s my girl, Liam...And if she’s the key to the story...”
“Fine...Great...”
“Fellas?...” Saul eyed them... “You’re losing me here...”
“Minor artistic difference...We’ll clean it up later...” William
noted... “Anyway, the vampire bit is a trivial part of the
matter...Any immortal curse really would do...The point is, your
character...In the fantasy scenes...Is doomed to be the misunderstood,
accursed one ever since his beloved kicked him out like a dog into the
arms of a foul creature of the night...Who made him the monster men
fear...”
“Sally?...” Saul grinned at Jack who frowned...
“We don’t want to confuse relationships there, mate...” Will noted...
“No, just a creature who made him, well...”
“The obnoxious TV Garry Saul...” Saul nodded...
“An allegory...But with the kicker that the girl...The lady love, I
mean...The one who drove him to despair...”
“An old girlfriend made Garry what he is...?” Jack, intrigued...
“Pushed him along the path...Anyway, she’s not gone out of his
immortal existence...She turns up again in our modern world...”
William said...Pointing to a sketch vaguely a cross between a childish
sketch of Buffy and TV Meryl Saul...Stake in hand...
“What’s that, a stake?...” Saul pointed...
“She’s reincarnated as his nemesis...A vampire Slayer...Which she was,
ironically, even then when they first met...” Will nodded...
“Vampire Slayer...” Saul nodded... Hmmn...
“Ball-buster by any other name...” Jack noted... “And was from the
beginning...?”
“Exactly, mate...You catch the allegory...”
“So this...Slayer?...She kills his kind...” Saul asked...
“For the benefit and protection of Humanity...” Angel nodded... “Or so
she likes to say...Though one might wonder...Given these creatures
were human, once...And are generally innocent souls and victims...Why
not try to rescue them?...Does she like it, the killing?...”
“The ball-busting...” Jack sighed...
“She’s had another vamp lover...Who’d regained soul and fought on the
right side...”
“That could be Dansen...” Saul eyed Jack... “TV Meryl and that little
non-sexual romance we had goin’ on with them in S6...Right?...”
“The wheels, boys...See the wheels turnin’...” Jack nodded...
“Ted Dansen?...” Angel beaming...
My dream cast...
“He has a wonderful wife...By modern times...” Angel noted,
eagerly...
“Ms. Steenburgen would be perfect...” he suggested...
“Back to the storyline...” William frowned...Putting another sketch
up...A crude rendering of Angel being shoved into a fiery
furnace...Stick demons tormenting him with pitchforks...
“Hey, is that you?...” Saul asked Angel...
“She...Our Meryl the Slayer...Claims to love this one but never lifts
a finger...Even to call on her Council of Watchers and their knowledge
of the occult or her witchy friends...”
“Witchy friends...I can see the Meryl koffee klatsch now...”Garry
grinned...
“...to lift the curse that keeps him from being able to be with
her...Suggesting she’s pretty comfy with his limitations...”
“Hey...” Angel growled...
“In being with her...” William noted...Angel calming... “To the point
that when he fails to measure up and loses the soul...Though no real
fault of his own, it being a loaner...”
Hey...
“She shoves him into Hell...Like that...To...” ummn... “Save the
world...”
“Pretty much what they all say...” Saul noted...
“Yeah...” Angel, slight bitterness...
“And then she goes off to grieve a bit over the summer...Making as
usual no real effort to help him or even see if he’s making out ok in
Hell...Until he returns...And she finds...Gee...” William places new
sheet...
Angel walking towards a bunch of what appear to be crude sketches of
buildings...
“He’s moved on...To another city...And a new life...But opening the
door to...”
“Me...?” Garry eyed the next sketch...A rather good likeness of him in
leather jacket and t-shirt...
Cool...He and Jack nodded...
“Her original victim...Excuse me, true love...Who pretty much gets the
same treatment as the other...Though being you...” William, smile...
“He fights his way back to souled status after she’s used him for a
while like a sex toy when he’s been unable to help himself...I don’t
need to point out how a woman used in such like manner would be
treated...Or the man who’d victimized her, even if she had been
soulless during the abuse...”
“God, they’d crucify him...” Jack shook his head... “She could’ve been
Hitler, they’d still crucify him...”
“And then...?” Saul asked, eagerly...
“He dies for her...And Humanity...While she kicks him around, abandons
him to evil forces, and finally leaves him with the lamest ‘I love
you’ in herstory...”
“The End?...No...” Saul shakes head...
“For TV Garry, alternate vampire self?...Certainly not...He
returns...Saved by a dark force for its own purposes...Not by her...Or
her occult friends...”
“Naturally...” Saul and Jack, chorus...
“But if it were her...” Saul sighed...
“An entire series about men dying to free her from her curse,
natch...” William nodded...
“But it being the guy...Our TV Garry...She manages to move on pretty
quick...”
“The End?...” Saul, Jack...Staring...
“He’s still kickin’...” William noted...
“And the other has found happiness...” Angel, contentedly... “Though
he does what he can to persuade his buddy TV Garry the vamp to find
another...Constantly...”
“Dansen would do that...” Garry nodded... “TV Ted, I mean...Real Ted’s
a beautiful guy, of course...But TV Ted would probably push him that
way...”
“The other, the good buddy...Has the best intentions...Souled and
all...” Angel, hastily...
“He wants the Meryl Slayer back on the side...” Saul, thoughtfully...
“Being scheming all along...”
William eyeing Angel...
“S6 did suggest that, mate...” narrow look...
***