r***@aol.com
2006-11-27 04:30:26 UTC
"Immortal Beloved..." CXVI...
Subtitle: "Mission: Implaussible..."
A shortie...
PG-13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down!
It's all yours and ME's...
Spoilers for Angel to the bitter end...Flee at once!...
Summary: The usual note as to the IB sketches. Not a continuing story
(unless lettered A-on) but possible and im- outcomes from "Chosen"
and "Not Fade Away...".
Freelancer William Soames Walthrop has been given a vital assignment
in...Yes, Italy.
Twilight, Los Angeles.
A short but lithe and handsome blonde young man in black leather jacket
and red t-shirt strides across the deserted park. A grim visaged
fellow standing in the shadows seeking prey eyes him but wisely thinks
better of the notion, the young fellow turning to cast a quick, hard
smile his way, not breaking his stride.
Reaching his goal, a park bench near the exit, the young man pauses,
searching for something. Spying a bag in the battered wire trash bin
next to the bench he removes it and grimacing a moment at the chewed
and rotting remains inside, pulls out a broken beer bottle. A young
and attractive female jogging by eyes him with a frown. Though looking
up he immediately senses her annoyance is more than just a register of
disapproval.
"Sorry, love." he calls to her, grinning. "Try back that way."
he jerks a thumb pointing back to a path to his left where the other
man still lurked.
Well, set one species of vermin to catch another...he notes to himself
as the vampiress takes his advice and begins jogging back and to the
left path.
Ah...The mother lode...He pulls out a small, rolled-up manilla envelope
with a tiny cassette tape taped to the inner side which had been hidden
in the bottle.
Damn...Sucking a cut thumb...They might've found an easy way to get
this one to him. He pulled out a miniature tape player and inserted
the cassette. Putting on small but highest quality earphones.
Hmmn...Sucking still bleeding thumb...Likely need stitches at this
rate...Ought to speak to his Missus, Nina, one of these days. Broodo
is clearly headed over the edge with this stuff.
"Good evening, Mr. Walthrop..." a voice issues...Loudly into the
night. Oops. He shoves the plug of the earphones more tightly into
the player's socket. Ah...
"A certain famed celebrity is due to be married in Italy shortly."
Angel? Have you been reading 'People'?
"Until now no media outlet has hoped to succeed in penetrating the
tight security at the wedding site and obtaining first run photos and
background on what is billed as the celebrity wedding of the
century."
As they all are...the man sighs.
"However we have obtained, through our operatives, the credentials
that will allow one of our best to pass as a guest and thus obtain what
no other outlet has..."
"Great..."
"...the first pictures of the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie
Holmes."
"And did is what superhero Champions are reduced to once all major
foes are vanquished?" the blonde man sighs. "At least tell me
Katie is actually the First corporealized."
"Look, I know it's not defeating the Partners, Spike. Or even
fighting human evil as top-notch lawyers." the taped voice continued.
"But as you well know we couldn't continue claiming to be a law
firm without actual law degrees and you were the one who wanted to
write again."
"Yeah, write...As in literature and journalism...Not vapid candy for
suicidally desperate housewives."
Still...A byline is a byline...And it would put diapers on adopted
lil' William's fanny...
But...Italy...
Eh, what the hell. Big country...What are the odds? And even we did,
say...Run into each other chasing some murderous Undead scum about to
gorge on voluptuous Italian flesh...Big deal. I'm a
professional...She's...Whatever...
Probably Mrs. Immortal now anyway....Never gets her hands bloody these
days...Wouldn't even deign to notice me if she ran over me with her
limo.
"As always. Should you be caught and staked...Or fried at dawn...We
don't know you...Though Nina will be a good mom to Will, Jr."
"Thanks, loads."
"This tape will self-destruct in five seconds....Just kidding.
Anyway, let me give you the low-down on the Cruise place...."
William ripped the tape out and threw it in the trash.
Hell, might as well make it a little challenging...
***
Mission: Impossible theme plays...
Cut to shot of William in glasses and formal suit entering Italian
hotel. Cut to shot of confident, hulking security chief assuring
rather overanxious Tom Cruise of his estate's safety from the
curious...Cut to shot of hidden William in estate cubbyhole viewing Tom
Cruise pulling human mask off to reveal hideous demon underneath...Cut
to shot of Katie Holmes in passionate embrace of William in suit...Cut
to shot of furious Buffy Summers in maid's outfit with small camera
dangling at side catching said Katie and Will...Cut to shot of furious
Mr. Cruise pounding fist on table a'la Richardo Montalban...Cut to
shot of secret global warming weapon being dedicated to memory of Lord
and Master L. Ron Hubbard by Cruise...Cut to shot of Buffy and William
arguing...Cut to shot of Katie Holmes assuring William of her ignorance
of Cruise's evil scheme...Cut to shot of Buffy rolling eyes...Cut to
shot of Cruise and Holmes sans human masks exchanging gleeful sneers at
handcuffed Buffy and Will about to meet doom by laser...Cut to shot of
Cruise sneering as Holmes takes laser in forehead...Cut to shot of
Buffy and Will free chasing Cruise to escape copter...Cut to shot of
Cruise being forced to autograph both of their photos of the wedding
couple before he is dispatched...Cut to nervous press agent trying to
plausibly explain "tragic honeymoon accident"...Cut to shot of
Buffy and Will fuming at each other...Cut to shot of Buffy's stunned
face as Will mentions lil' Will...Cut to shot of Will's blinking
face as Buffy shows picture of her own William Jr. currently home with
Dawn...
Fade to black..Mission: Impossible end theme...
.
Subtitle: "Mission: Implaussible..."
A shortie...
PG-13
Disclaimer: No, Joss, no...I make no claims, put that thing down!
It's all yours and ME's...
Spoilers for Angel to the bitter end...Flee at once!...
Summary: The usual note as to the IB sketches. Not a continuing story
(unless lettered A-on) but possible and im- outcomes from "Chosen"
and "Not Fade Away...".
Freelancer William Soames Walthrop has been given a vital assignment
in...Yes, Italy.
Twilight, Los Angeles.
A short but lithe and handsome blonde young man in black leather jacket
and red t-shirt strides across the deserted park. A grim visaged
fellow standing in the shadows seeking prey eyes him but wisely thinks
better of the notion, the young fellow turning to cast a quick, hard
smile his way, not breaking his stride.
Reaching his goal, a park bench near the exit, the young man pauses,
searching for something. Spying a bag in the battered wire trash bin
next to the bench he removes it and grimacing a moment at the chewed
and rotting remains inside, pulls out a broken beer bottle. A young
and attractive female jogging by eyes him with a frown. Though looking
up he immediately senses her annoyance is more than just a register of
disapproval.
"Sorry, love." he calls to her, grinning. "Try back that way."
he jerks a thumb pointing back to a path to his left where the other
man still lurked.
Well, set one species of vermin to catch another...he notes to himself
as the vampiress takes his advice and begins jogging back and to the
left path.
Ah...The mother lode...He pulls out a small, rolled-up manilla envelope
with a tiny cassette tape taped to the inner side which had been hidden
in the bottle.
Damn...Sucking a cut thumb...They might've found an easy way to get
this one to him. He pulled out a miniature tape player and inserted
the cassette. Putting on small but highest quality earphones.
Hmmn...Sucking still bleeding thumb...Likely need stitches at this
rate...Ought to speak to his Missus, Nina, one of these days. Broodo
is clearly headed over the edge with this stuff.
"Good evening, Mr. Walthrop..." a voice issues...Loudly into the
night. Oops. He shoves the plug of the earphones more tightly into
the player's socket. Ah...
"A certain famed celebrity is due to be married in Italy shortly."
Angel? Have you been reading 'People'?
"Until now no media outlet has hoped to succeed in penetrating the
tight security at the wedding site and obtaining first run photos and
background on what is billed as the celebrity wedding of the
century."
As they all are...the man sighs.
"However we have obtained, through our operatives, the credentials
that will allow one of our best to pass as a guest and thus obtain what
no other outlet has..."
"Great..."
"...the first pictures of the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie
Holmes."
"And did is what superhero Champions are reduced to once all major
foes are vanquished?" the blonde man sighs. "At least tell me
Katie is actually the First corporealized."
"Look, I know it's not defeating the Partners, Spike. Or even
fighting human evil as top-notch lawyers." the taped voice continued.
"But as you well know we couldn't continue claiming to be a law
firm without actual law degrees and you were the one who wanted to
write again."
"Yeah, write...As in literature and journalism...Not vapid candy for
suicidally desperate housewives."
Still...A byline is a byline...And it would put diapers on adopted
lil' William's fanny...
But...Italy...
Eh, what the hell. Big country...What are the odds? And even we did,
say...Run into each other chasing some murderous Undead scum about to
gorge on voluptuous Italian flesh...Big deal. I'm a
professional...She's...Whatever...
Probably Mrs. Immortal now anyway....Never gets her hands bloody these
days...Wouldn't even deign to notice me if she ran over me with her
limo.
"As always. Should you be caught and staked...Or fried at dawn...We
don't know you...Though Nina will be a good mom to Will, Jr."
"Thanks, loads."
"This tape will self-destruct in five seconds....Just kidding.
Anyway, let me give you the low-down on the Cruise place...."
William ripped the tape out and threw it in the trash.
Hell, might as well make it a little challenging...
***
Mission: Impossible theme plays...
Cut to shot of William in glasses and formal suit entering Italian
hotel. Cut to shot of confident, hulking security chief assuring
rather overanxious Tom Cruise of his estate's safety from the
curious...Cut to shot of hidden William in estate cubbyhole viewing Tom
Cruise pulling human mask off to reveal hideous demon underneath...Cut
to shot of Katie Holmes in passionate embrace of William in suit...Cut
to shot of furious Buffy Summers in maid's outfit with small camera
dangling at side catching said Katie and Will...Cut to shot of furious
Mr. Cruise pounding fist on table a'la Richardo Montalban...Cut to
shot of secret global warming weapon being dedicated to memory of Lord
and Master L. Ron Hubbard by Cruise...Cut to shot of Buffy and William
arguing...Cut to shot of Katie Holmes assuring William of her ignorance
of Cruise's evil scheme...Cut to shot of Buffy rolling eyes...Cut to
shot of Cruise and Holmes sans human masks exchanging gleeful sneers at
handcuffed Buffy and Will about to meet doom by laser...Cut to shot of
Cruise sneering as Holmes takes laser in forehead...Cut to shot of
Buffy and Will free chasing Cruise to escape copter...Cut to shot of
Cruise being forced to autograph both of their photos of the wedding
couple before he is dispatched...Cut to nervous press agent trying to
plausibly explain "tragic honeymoon accident"...Cut to shot of
Buffy and Will fuming at each other...Cut to shot of Buffy's stunned
face as Will mentions lil' Will...Cut to shot of Will's blinking
face as Buffy shows picture of her own William Jr. currently home with
Dawn...
Fade to black..Mission: Impossible end theme...
.