regarding Blood Prey

[peachy ashie passion]

With spoilers

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BTR, you are fabulous.

No, really… that is some seriously good writing. Good quality
writing, you really have Faith’s voice down. Pulled me in neatly
there, and nice plotting besides. Although I did spend about 100 pages
hating you for telling me Delilah was going to die. That’s good
writing too, it was like reading this happy tale with a whitewash of
horror over it, because I knew she was going to die.. and I never knew
when. It was horrible, in a well written kind of way.

You worked the King touches in nicely too. You had a deft hand with
it, interweaving the pieces. It was a little surreal at times, having
Faith interacting with the King universe, but then that was deliberate I
think. You did an excellent job of sliding things in the story in a
subtle way, so that someone who wasn’t familiar with King stuff could
still follow – in fact, I’d be willing to bet there are things where I
missed the King connection. One of my favorites was Faith hearing
Larry’s song.. “Baby Can You Dig Your Man”. Just because it was so very
subtle, nothing at all to impact the story, just a fun treat to find.

I also noticed how neatly you pulled in musical references. They
set the mood without ever being intrusive. Nicely done, and not
something many folks can manage.

Anyway, thank you for it.. It truly was a pleasure to read.

peach

[BTR1701]

Post by peachy ashie passion
With spoilers
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BTR, you are fabulous.
No, reallyŠ that is some seriously good writing. Good quality
writing, you really have Faith¹s voice down. Pulled me in neatly
there, and nice plotting besides. Although I did spend about 100 pages
hating you for telling me Delilah was going to die.

Delilah had to die. There had to be a reason for the warped shell that
was wrapped around Faith when she first arrived in Sunnydale. Between
Madeline, her mother, and Delilah, Faith scored the trifecta of
emotional trauma.

Post by peachy ashie passion
That¹s good writing too, it was like reading this happy
tale with a whitewash of horror over it, because I knew
she was going to die.. and I never knew when. It was
horrible, in a well written kind of way.

That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King. One of the
most horrible moments I've ever had reading a book was in King's "Bag of
Bones". I was within 100 pages of the end and while I knew someone was
gonna die (it's a King book, come on) I really thought Maddie Devore
(one of the most likeable and sympathetic female characters King has
ever written) was gonna make it through okay.

Then I get to this sequence:

I kissed her. I think out tongues touched
but I'm not sure. What I remember most clearly
is the *liveness* of her.

"Thanks for finally making up your mind," she
said to me in a low voice. She turned and hurried
back up the narrow corridor. The next time she spoke
to me, I don't think she knew who she was talking to
or where she was. The next time she spoke to me, she
was dying.


I gotta say, that kinda hit me like a punch to the gut. I don't think
I've quite ever forgiven King for that one. ;-)

Post by peachy ashie passion
You worked the King touches in nicely too. You had a deft hand with
it, interweaving the pieces. It was a little surreal at times, having
Faith interacting with the King universe, but then that was deliberate I
think. You did an excellent job of sliding things in the story in a
subtle way, so that someone who wasn¹t familiar with King stuff could
still follow

Did you watch "Desperation" last week on TV? If so, you may have noticed
when the kid first escaped from the jail cell and went downstairs, he
found the sheriff dead at his desk and written on the wall above him in
blood was "In these silences, something may rise." ;-)

Post by peachy ashie passion
­ in fact, I¹d be willing to bet there are things where I
missed the King connection.

Hopefully Christine wasn't one of them. That was pretty much as subtle
as a sledgehammer. ;-)

Post by peachy ashie passion
One of my favorites was Faith hearing
Larry¹s song.. ³Baby Can You Dig Your Man².

One has to wonder if a Slayer would be immune from Captain Trips.

Post by peachy ashie passion
I also noticed how neatly you pulled in musical references. They
set the mood without ever being intrusive. Nicely done, and not
something many folks can manage.

I try to keep them to a minimum for just that reason. I've read stuff
before that's just horrible with quoted lyrics everywhere.

Post by peachy ashie passion
Anyway, thank you for it.. It truly was a pleasure to read.

Thanks much. I actually found the hardest part so far was the stuff from
the time Faith arrives in Sunnydale because suddenly I had actual
continuity with the series to consider and I had to make sure things
like passage of time and dialog and all sorts of other details were
consistent with what was shown on screen while at the same time
presenting those same details from an entirely different point of view.

I did, however, get a special kick out of writing the Harmony scene.
I've never had to give voice to my inner bimbo before. ;-)

I'm working on the third act now, flashing forward to the "present" and
picking up the story in 'Salem's Lot where the whole thing started. This
is where the King universe is going to come into the foreground in a big
way. Part III's title is "The Path of the Rose", if that gives you any
indication.

Also, thanks for taking the time to comment on it. Like I said before,
every time I post an update, between 30 and 50 people download it but no
one ever says a word, either good or bad. So far you're the only one
(except family and friends who I actually know in real life) to have
provided feedback.

[Daniel Damouth]

Post by BTR1701
That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King.

[Etc.]

I couldn't find "Blood Prey" on fanction.net, and I'm not very
acquainted with the fan fiction community. I found the story through a
groups.google search, but I didn't find a description. Is it a
crossover with a King story?

I love the character of Faith, but I've read only a few King stories,
and don't consider myself a big fan.

-Dan Damouth

[BTR1701]

Post by Daniel Damouth

Post by BTR1701
That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King.

[Etc.]
I couldn't find "Blood Prey" on fanction.net, and I'm not very
acquainted with the fan fiction community. I found the story through a
groups.google search, but I didn't find a description. Is it a
crossover with a King story?
I love the character of Faith, but I've read only a few King stories,
and don't consider myself a big fan.

It's not so much a crossover with a single King story as it is a
crossover with the entire King "universe". It starts out with Faith
arriving in 'Salem's Lot and goes from there. The entire middle act is
an extended flashback sequence which tells Faith's entire backstory
before she arrived in Sunnydale.

As you discovered, it's not on fanction.net. You can download it here in
PDF format.

http://homepage.mac.com/btr1701/FileSharing1.html

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by BTR1701

Post by Daniel Damouth

Post by BTR1701
That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King.

[Etc.]
I couldn't find "Blood Prey" on fanction.net, and I'm not very
acquainted with the fan fiction community. I found the story through a
groups.google search, but I didn't find a description. Is it a
crossover with a King story?
I love the character of Faith, but I've read only a few King stories,
and don't consider myself a big fan.

It's not so much a crossover with a single King story as it is a
crossover with the entire King "universe". It starts out with Faith
arriving in 'Salem's Lot and goes from there. The entire middle act is
an extended flashback sequence which tells Faith's entire backstory
before she arrived in Sunnydale.
As you discovered, it's not on fanction.net. You can download it here in
PDF format.
http://homepage.mac.com/btr1701/FileSharing1.html

Daniel, I think that there are easter eggs for King's universe,
definite crossovers, but I'd say BTR has handled it gracefully enough
you don't need to be familiar with the King stuff to enjoy Faith's story.

[BTR1701]

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701

Post by Daniel Damouth

Post by BTR1701
That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King.

[Etc.]
I couldn't find "Blood Prey" on fanction.net, and I'm not very
acquainted with the fan fiction community. I found the story through a
groups.google search, but I didn't find a description. Is it a
crossover with a King story?
I love the character of Faith, but I've read only a few King stories,
and don't consider myself a big fan.

It's not so much a crossover with a single King story as it is a
crossover with the entire King "universe". It starts out with Faith
arriving in 'Salem's Lot and goes from there. The entire middle act is
an extended flashback sequence which tells Faith's entire backstory
before she arrived in Sunnydale.
As you discovered, it's not on fanction.net. You can download it here in
PDF format.
http://homepage.mac.com/btr1701/FileSharing1.html

Daniel, I think that there are easter eggs for King's universe,
definite crossovers, but I'd say BTR has handled it gracefully enough
you don't need to be familiar with the King stuff to enjoy Faith's story.

You mentioned there were probably some smaller nuggets here and there
that you missed... well, did you notice:

(1) The used book Faith finds when she checks into her hotel room in
Austin?

(2) The number of that hotel room?

(3) Delilah's favorite leisure reading material?

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701

Post by Daniel Damouth

Post by BTR1701
That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King.

[Etc.]
I couldn't find "Blood Prey" on fanction.net, and I'm not very
acquainted with the fan fiction community. I found the story through a
groups.google search, but I didn't find a description. Is it a
crossover with a King story?
I love the character of Faith, but I've read only a few King stories,
and don't consider myself a big fan.

It's not so much a crossover with a single King story as it is a
crossover with the entire King "universe". It starts out with Faith
arriving in 'Salem's Lot and goes from there. The entire middle act is
an extended flashback sequence which tells Faith's entire backstory
before she arrived in Sunnydale.
As you discovered, it's not on fanction.net. You can download it here in
PDF format.
http://homepage.mac.com/btr1701/FileSharing1.html

Daniel, I think that there are easter eggs for King's universe,
definite crossovers, but I'd say BTR has handled it gracefully enough
you don't need to be familiar with the King stuff to enjoy Faith's story.

You mentioned there were probably some smaller nuggets here and there
(1) The used book Faith finds when she checks into her hotel room in
Austin?
(2) The number of that hotel room?
(3) Delilah's favorite leisure reading material?

hmm. Don't remember the book in Austin, and if I noted it at that
time or not. I noticed the room number and couldn't place it, and spent
a moment thinking about it, but I was too eager to keep reading to stop.

I definitely noticed Delilah's reading materials. LOVED that!!!

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
With spoilers
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BTR, you are fabulous.
No, reallyŠ that is some seriously good writing. Good quality
writing, you really have Faith¹s voice down. Pulled me in neatly
there, and nice plotting besides. Although I did spend about 100 pages
hating you for telling me Delilah was going to die.

Delilah had to die. There had to be a reason for the warped shell that
was wrapped around Faith when she first arrived in Sunnydale. Between
Madeline, her mother, and Delilah, Faith scored the trifecta of
emotional trauma.

I get that she had to. She did, you are right.
But I hated you for the foreknowledge coloring everything.

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
That¹s good writing too, it was like reading this happy
tale with a whitewash of horror over it, because I knew
she was going to die.. and I never knew when. It was
horrible, in a well written kind of way.

That kind of foreshadowing is another homage to Mr. King. One of the
most horrible moments I've ever had reading a book was in King's "Bag of
Bones". I was within 100 pages of the end and while I knew someone was
gonna die (it's a King book, come on) I really thought Maddie Devore
(one of the most likeable and sympathetic female characters King has
ever written) was gonna make it through okay.
I kissed her. I think out tongues touched
but I'm not sure. What I remember most clearly
is the *liveness* of her.
"Thanks for finally making up your mind," she
said to me in a low voice. She turned and hurried
back up the narrow corridor. The next time she spoke
to me, I don't think she knew who she was talking to
or where she was. The next time she spoke to me, she
was dying.
I gotta say, that kinda hit me like a punch to the gut. I don't think
I've quite ever forgiven King for that one. ;-)

See? You know exactly what I mean. It's not a writing critique,
it's a "you are killing me here critique". ARGH!

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
You worked the King touches in nicely too. You had a deft hand with
it, interweaving the pieces. It was a little surreal at times, having
Faith interacting with the King universe, but then that was deliberate I
think. You did an excellent job of sliding things in the story in a
subtle way, so that someone who wasn¹t familiar with King stuff could
still follow

Did you watch "Desperation" last week on TV? If so, you may have noticed
when the kid first escaped from the jail cell and went downstairs, he
found the sheriff dead at his desk and written on the wall above him in
blood was "In these silences, something may rise." ;-)

I didn't - I hadn't realized it was on, and I was sad. I LOVED
Desperation.

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
­ in fact, I¹d be willing to bet there are things where I
missed the King connection.

Hopefully Christine wasn't one of them. That was pretty much as subtle
as a sledgehammer. ;-)

Post by peachy ashie passion
One of my favorites was Faith hearing
Larry¹s song.. ³Baby Can You Dig Your Man².

One has to wonder if a Slayer would be immune from Captain Trips.

I'm thinking not. Buffy got the flu, right?

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
I also noticed how neatly you pulled in musical references. They
set the mood without ever being intrusive. Nicely done, and not
something many folks can manage.

I try to keep them to a minimum for just that reason. I've read stuff
before that's just horrible with quoted lyrics everywhere.

Post by peachy ashie passion
Anyway, thank you for it.. It truly was a pleasure to read.

Thanks much. I actually found the hardest part so far was the stuff from
the time Faith arrives in Sunnydale because suddenly I had actual
continuity with the series to consider and I had to make sure things
like passage of time and dialog and all sorts of other details were
consistent with what was shown on screen while at the same time
presenting those same details from an entirely different point of view.
I did, however, get a special kick out of writing the Harmony scene.
I've never had to give voice to my inner bimbo before. ;-)

I think you should take that as a challenge. Your next writing
project, unleash your inner bimbo.

Say... 1000 words with the protagonist as bimbo. I dare you.

[BTR1701]

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
BTR, you are fabulous.
No, reallyS that is some seriously good writing. Good quality
writing, you really have Faith1s voice down. Pulled me in neatly
there, and nice plotting besides. Although I did spend about 100 pages
hating you for telling me Delilah was going to die.

Delilah had to die. There had to be a reason for the warped shell that
was wrapped around Faith when she first arrived in Sunnydale. Between
Madeline, her mother, and Delilah, Faith scored the trifecta of
emotional trauma.

I get that she had to. She did, you are right.
But I hated you for the foreknowledge coloring everything.

Well, I'm not doing my job if I haven't pissed off the reader. Something
I learned from both Whedon *and* King. ;-)

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
You worked the King touches in nicely too. You had a deft hand with
it, interweaving the pieces. It was a little surreal at times, having
Faith interacting with the King universe, but then that was deliberate I
think. You did an excellent job of sliding things in the story in a
subtle way, so that someone who wasn1t familiar with King stuff could
still follow

Did you watch "Desperation" last week on TV? If so, you may have noticed
when the kid first escaped from the jail cell and went downstairs, he
found the sheriff dead at his desk and written on the wall above him in
blood was "In these silences, something may rise." ;-)

I didn't - I hadn't realized it was on, and I was sad. I LOVED
Desperation.

Don't worry. It'll be out on DVD soon enough. It was a faithful
adaptation but completely failed to capture the claustrophobic
spookiness of the book.

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
One of my favorites was Faith hearing
Larry1s song.. 3Baby Can You Dig Your Man2.

One has to wonder if a Slayer would be immune from Captain Trips.

I'm thinking not. Buffy got the flu, right?

Well, she *drank* the flu. She may have just had an upset stomach from
the concentrated solution since you can't really catch the flu by
drinking it.

Post by BTR1701
I did, however, get a special kick out of writing the Harmony scene.
I've never had to give voice to my inner bimbo before. ;-)

I think you should take that as a challenge. Your next writing
project, unleash your inner bimbo.
Say... 1000 words with the protagonist as bimbo. I dare you.

You're a darkly evil person, you know that?

[Don Sample]

Post by BTR1701

Post by BTR1701
One has to wonder if a Slayer would be immune from Captain Trips.

I'm thinking not. Buffy got the flu, right?

Well, she *drank* the flu. She may have just had an upset stomach from
the concentrated solution since you can't really catch the flu by
drinking it.

She had the flu before she went into the hospital. Drinking that stuff
just made her relapse.

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by Don Sample

Post by BTR1701

Post by BTR1701
One has to wonder if a Slayer would be immune from Captain Trips.

I'm thinking not. Buffy got the flu, right?

Well, she *drank* the flu. She may have just had an upset stomach from
the concentrated solution since you can't really catch the flu by
drinking it.

She had the flu before she went into the hospital. Drinking that stuff
just made her relapse.

Thanks Don, that's how I remembered it too.

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701
I did, however, get a special kick out of writing the Harmony scene.
I've never had to give voice to my inner bimbo before. ;-)

I think you should take that as a challenge. Your next writing
project, unleash your inner bimbo.
Say... 1000 words with the protagonist as bimbo. I dare you.

You're a darkly evil person, you know that?

Who me?

Coming from you, I'm truly flattered.

And I double dare you.

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by BTR1701

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
BTR, you are fabulous.
No, reallyS� that is some seriously good writing. Good quality
writing, you really have Faith1s voice down. Pulled me in neatly
there, and nice plotting besides. Although I did spend about 100 pages
hating you for telling me Delilah was going to die.

Delilah had to die. There had to be a reason for the warped shell that
was wrapped around Faith when she first arrived in Sunnydale. Between
Madeline, her mother, and Delilah, Faith scored the trifecta of
emotional trauma.

I get that she had to. She did, you are right.
But I hated you for the foreknowledge coloring everything.

Well, I'm not doing my job if I haven't pissed off the reader. Something
I learned from both Whedon *and* King. ;-)

Mission Accomplished.

Post by BTR1701

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
You worked the King touches in nicely too. You had a deft hand with
it, interweaving the pieces. It was a little surreal at times, having
Faith interacting with the King universe, but then that was deliberate I
think. You did an excellent job of sliding things in the story in a
subtle way, so that someone who wasn1t familiar with King stuff could
still follow

Did you watch "Desperation" last week on TV? If so, you may have noticed
when the kid first escaped from the jail cell and went downstairs, he
found the sheriff dead at his desk and written on the wall above him in
blood was "In these silences, something may rise." ;-)

I didn't - I hadn't realized it was on, and I was sad. I LOVED
Desperation.

Don't worry. It'll be out on DVD soon enough. It was a faithful
adaptation but completely failed to capture the claustrophobic
spookiness of the book.

Good to know. I have to admit, I was almost scared to see it,
because they never can measure up to the book.

How did they do with the whole "exploring God" theme?

Post by BTR1701

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion
One of my favorites was Faith hearing
Larry1s song.. 3Baby Can You Dig Your Man2.

One has to wonder if a Slayer would be immune from Captain Trips.

I'm thinking not. Buffy got the flu, right?

Well, she *drank* the flu. She may have just had an upset stomach from
the concentrated solution since you can't really catch the flu by
drinking it.

I think it was the flu that got her into the hospital in the first
place, wasn't it?

Post by BTR1701

Post by BTR1701
I did, however, get a special kick out of writing the Harmony scene.
I've never had to give voice to my inner bimbo before. ;-)

I think you should take that as a challenge. Your next writing
project, unleash your inner bimbo.
Say... 1000 words with the protagonist as bimbo. I dare you.

You're a darkly evil person, you know that?

I can't wait to see what you do with it.

Will she be a cheerleader? Prom Queen?
Or just the veeerrry friendly neighborhood bimbo?

[BTR1701]

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701
Did you watch "Desperation" last week on TV? If so, you may have noticed
when the kid first escaped from the jail cell and went downstairs, he
found the sheriff dead at his desk and written on the wall above him in
blood was "In these silences, something may rise." ;-)

I didn't - I hadn't realized it was on, and I was sad. I LOVED
Desperation.

Don't worry. It'll be out on DVD soon enough. It was a faithful
adaptation but completely failed to capture the claustrophobic
spookiness of the book.

Good to know. I have to admit, I was almost scared to see it,
because they never can measure up to the book.
How did they do with the whole "exploring God" theme?

Again, faithful adaptation but completely failed in execution. The kid
just came across as whiny and irrational.

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701

Post by peachy ashie passion

Post by BTR1701
I did, however, get a special kick out of writing the Harmony scene.
I've never had to give voice to my inner bimbo before. ;-)

I think you should take that as a challenge. Your next writing
project, unleash your inner bimbo.
Say... 1000 words with the protagonist as bimbo. I dare you.

You're a darkly evil person, you know that?

I can't wait to see what you do with it.
Will she be a cheerleader? Prom Queen?
Or just the veeerrry friendly neighborhood bimbo?

Well, I always said that if I had been born a girl, I'd have been a
tremendous slut... ;-)

[peachy ashie passion]

Post by BTR1701
Well, I always said that if I had been born a girl, I'd have been a
tremendous slut... ;-)

How fortunate for you to be born a guy, where we just call it studly.